i'm not exactly free.. and i'm not exactly busy either.. its just somewhere in the middle which i like.. and yet.. i seem to feel that life is lacking spice.. its like.. it has reached a plateau where everything seems to come to a standstill.. where i don't feel the excitement anymore.. where i don't feel the adrenaline rush anymore.. it feels like i haven't been truly happy... it feels like it takes so much effort just to feel the sense of achievement or satisfaction that i've always felt.. i do feel empty and quite lost at times.. not in the sense of emo lost.. but more like.. i-don't-see-the-point-in-doing-this kind of lost.. is it only me or what? i chose to blame my hormones.. =p
All these are making me think.. i can't help it.. but i question myself.. to where life is bringing me to.. i hate the feeling of being lost.. i hate to lose my aim.. and i hate to not know what i am working towards.. think i seriously need to sit down and reflect.. and stop being such a machine.. doing things that i feel obliged to do.. instead of things that i want to do..
i miss the beach.. i miss my friends.. i miss the wan ling that my old friends love.. that's what they tell me.. i am not the same wan ling they know.. they claim that the me before was much more carefree, naive and sure of what she wants.. haha.. guess i've grown out of that? minyi, ber, lx, both yy and both cs, sh, huey yee, yx.. missing you guys damn a lot right now..
=) just thinking aloud.. sharing my thoughts with you..
-1 Ling-
